"Never Say Die" Rooney Inspires Man United Fightback

England striker Wayne Rooney scored 2 penalties and produced an inspiring second half display as Manchester United fought back from a seemingly hopeless position at Stanford Bridge. Trailing by a single goal at half time, even the most die hard of United supporters must have thought all was lost when a disastrous start to the second half saw early goals from Chelsea playmaker Juan Mata (who buried a stunning volley) and a deflected set piece header from centre back David Luiz treble the home side's advantage in a sequence of events that all Chelsea fan's must surely have believed would put the game to bed as a contest.
     However, Rooney was to once again prove the driving force for the reds with a determined performance of both grit and technique in equal quantity - picking up the man of the match award and proving that there would be no greater football boots for manager Sir Alex Ferguson to try and fill should the Liverpool born forward pick up an injury during United's end of season title run in.
     Following the final whistle Chelsea fans vented there frustration at seeing yet another opportunity to make up ground on the Premier League front runners pass them by, whilst in contrast a beaming Rooney suggested in his post match interview that the response from his team was typical of his club's attitude and approach -  even when all seems lost. The game was to prove a fantastic advert for English football, and a great indication of Manchester United's team spirit and unerring desire to succeed in their pursuit of yet another Premier League title.

Best Football Jokes and Banter for Manchester City Fans

Warning: Man United fans who don't want to know the score please look away now! :-P

After what has been surely already been nothing short of an incredible week in the life of all the Manchester City fans out there following your superb 1-6 win at Old Trafford on Sunday, as we move towards day 3 of the working week you may now sadly be running short of new and exciting ways of ribbing all your United supporting work colleagues - now that all the viral email jokes have already done the rounds. Well worry not, help is at hand as here are some more belters I have received here at EFB, consolidated nicely into one place that should help you to keep the fires of fun burning in your workplace. Sincere apologies to the red half of Manchester...

It was a tough night for United - their defence was at sixes and Evans

United have been beaten 6-1 - but don't worry there's still 2 sets to play for

I was asked on Sunday morning "when do Man United kick off?" - I replied "about every 5 minutes"

Whats the difference between David De Gea and a black cab driver? - The cabby only lets 5 in

Recent supports suggest Fergie is in some bother with her majesty - apparently something to do with a "sick swan"

The Glazer family were said to be keen to get the true Man United fan experience on derby day - they were on their way back to London 20 minutes before the final whistle.

I'm sure you will agree these are some funny jokes for Man City fans that should provide some inspiration for further hours of torment :-)

However, if you want to make sure you can remain the truly "noisy neighbour" of the office or schoolyard for many long weeks to come (or at least until they get their own back and win the title ;-) ) why not check out the blog 1000 reasons to hate man united for some further inspiration!

DISCLAIMER: Please note not all contributions on the above are family friendly (although many are very funny) and I do not control the content of this site.

Feel free to comment further on these below and share any other Manchester derby jokes you may have right here at EFB - but please keep your football banter clean!

Chin up Fergie.....

Fergie Not Surprised By Flying Form Of "Noisy Neighbours"

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has admitted he is not surprised by the strong start to the season made by local rivals Manchester City. The blue half of Manchester have assembled a talented squad at vast expense over the last couple of years and have matched united point for point so far this season with 6 wins and only 1 draw from their opening 7 Premier League fixtures. Only goal difference now separates these English football heavyweights heading into this weekend's international break but Fergie admits the performances seen so far from the so called "noisy neighbours" have not shocked him:

"I've said all along that would happen" Fergie explained to Inside United.

"They are a good team and they were always going to be there or thereabouts.

"Sergio Aguero was bound to do well, coming into the Premier League, because he is such a goal threat around the penalty box. David Silva is also a very good player.

"We just have to make sure we are ready for City when we meet them."

City striker Aguero has certainly already gone a long way towards proving his doubters wrong who had claimed he could not adapt to English football. The Argentine has been making an instant impact for The Blues - having already smashed 8 Premier League goals this season. Meanwhile winger Silva - also cited by Ferguson as a key player for city - has looked to continue his impressive form from last season with some silky and creative displays that have made him a vital part of City's goal threat.

The two bitter Manchester rivals are set to meet each other at Old Trafford on the 23rd of October in what promises to be the most eagerly awaited Manchester derby in years. Stakes are always high for fans of both the red and blue sides of Manchester on such occasions, but with City now emerging as genuine title contenders the fixture will surely take on an even greater significance in the wider context of this season's Premier League title race.

Fergie: No Fear of Barca - But We Would be Better with Brechin

A couple of nights ago as Manchester United achieved with the greatest possible ease the result even the most sceptical football follower could not have denied - a 4 - 1 victory in front of their own fans allowing a second string 11 to cruise their way past an over achieving Schalke side - most football fans across the world had long since shifted their thoughts to the mouth watering prospect of the Champions League final that awaits us - long before the final whistle was blown at Old Trafford. Wednesday night's semi final second leg fixture was almost a formality for United - who had built such a dominant platform from their 2 - 0 first leg victory away from home that they could afford to rest the majority of their first team with one eye on the weekend's critical league clash with Chelsea. However, as Alex Ferguson's men strode into yet another final they surely know the ultimate test of their footballing credentials still lies ahead - a clash of the titans at Wembley stadium against the imperious Barcelona.

      

     Whatever the "Special One" and his Real Madrid counterparts may have to say on the subject, few could deny Pep Guardiola's team boast majestic talent, and have fully deserved their reputation as the best club side in the world. And now the world awaits the Champions League final every neutral dreams of. In the press conference following United's victory, Ferguson had staunchly defended his team's Champions League credentials - claiming that while they had the ultimate respect for Barcelona as a fantastic side in terrific form, they would enter the tie without fear of the Spanish giants. However with the sublime talent of Messi in their ranks, even the great Glaswegian must surely fear a recurrence of their 2009 final defeat against the Catalan club - a night in which his side were left chasing shadows.

     When asked who he would like to have faced in the final and as to whether his team were out to avenge their 2 - 0 champions league final in Rome some 2 years ago, Fergie joked that a meeting with Scottish minnows Brechin City would have been preferable over the Spanish masters. Whether he opts for a combination of Anderson, Fletcher or Carrick in the centre of the park he will know they have to somehow stop Barca's playmakers Xavi and Iniesta from dominating possession and controlling the match as they have done so on so many occasions for both club and country over the last few years. With both sides boasting attacking full backs, the game may be open down the wings and could lead to an exciting fixture full of goals. Ferguson will hope however he can draw on the experience of solid centre back pairing Ferdinand and Vidic as well as ever-green keeper Edwin Van Der Sar to try and keep Barcelona at bay.

Fergie Reverts to Siege Mentality as United Battle on 3 Fronts

In a week where Arsenal's dream of a historic quadruple has faded into near nothingness while Manchester United's hopes of bagging a terrific treble continue to burn brightly, Sir Alex Ferguson has sought to adopt an an all too familiar siege mentality in relation to recent media criticism and jibes he has received from rival managers of his attitude towards match officials. The wily old United boss - who has been charged by the FA over his remarks about referee Martin Atkinson following his side's defeat at Stamford Bridge - was in typically defiant mood as he rebuked comments made by Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish and former England boss Graham Taylor who had both spoken out against Fergie in recent televison interviews and the written press about Ferguson's rants.

     Ferguson was quoted as saying that people had "short memories" in reference to Dalglish's recent comments about the referee following his side's defeat to United earlier this season and also Taylor's now infamous tirade at the linesmen in an England qualifier when he claimed the referee had just got him the sack. The "nobody likes us we don't care" attitude of Sir Alex is certainly nothing new, and is one that he has used to deflect the media and public pressure and expectation away from his playing squad on a nunber of occasions as his side have faced the growing scrutiny and speculation that surrounds the Premier League title run in. No doubt at the end of the season (as he has on so many occassions), Ferguson will have the last laugh as his side continue to creep closer towards what would be a historic title win.

Premier League Refs Prove Fitness With Heart Rate Monitors

As many fans will know, Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has never been one to shy away from sharing his opinions on the match officials, but his comments during 2009 outraged referees - and indeed many football fans - across the country with his claims that Premier League referee Alan Wiley was “was not fit enough for a game of that standard” following his sides failure to beat Sunderland at Old Trafford earlier this season. His claim was particularly infuriating for the men in black as there personal fitness is under constant scrutiny from the Professional Game Match Officials (PGMO) and the Premier League itself. Like many of the top players in England today, referees at the highest level are now using heart rate monitors to measure their fitness on a match to match basis, with one of the countries leading suppliers Polar apparently offering trade rate prices to encourage there uptake amongst the English game’s top football referees. Following Ferguson's comments to the media, the fitness of Premier League refs has been under even more scrutiny in the public eye, but the signs are that through such ongoing measurements of individual fitness performance, it seems the standard of fitness amongst the games top refs is set to remain high.